How many Muslim men “Fear Allah in women”, be it their mothers, wives or daughters? This series is an attempt to understand and apply. When Allah SWT said “and deal kindly with them (wives)” (4:19), He SWT wasn’t giving you an option, He was rather giving you an “order”!
Now did you know that the teacher of mankind SAW taught us positive thinking and win-win concepts 1400 years before Stephen Covey did? The prophet SAW on positive thinking: “If he (husband) dislikes one of her (wife) characteristics he will be pleased with another” [Muslim].
Did you know that the prophet SAW taught humanity the concept of motivational behavior 14 centuries before it was even noticed in the West?! Motivational behavior at its best could be observed in the prophet’s words when he SAW said “The most complete in faith is the best in character. And the best of you is he who is best to his wife” [Tirmidhi].
Kindly note, that in both cases, whether in positive thinking or in motivational behavior, the prophet SAW commanded men to be kind to wives. Why is it then, that many Muslim husbands treat their wives like slaves? The answer is that they’re either ignorant or they purposely disobey Allah and His messenger SAW. When Allah SWT says “And women have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable” (2:228), men MUST pay attention!
On a separate note, are you aware that forcing women, whether wife or daughter, to change their normal character is against the teachings of Islam? Therefore, think twice before forcing her (wife or daughter) to change her character to please your ego because this is what the prophet SAW said regarding this matter: “Verily, the woman was created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so treat the women in the best way” [Bukhari]. Therefore, instead of exerting force, be flexible and encourage a genuine personality!
If you, as a husband, insist on denying her rights (wife and daughter), then never come and complain later on that your home is miserable! Honestly, how can you claim that the prophet SAW is your role model when you’re not giving her (wife and daughter) the least of her rights as commanded by him SAW?!
To be resumed inshaa Allah in Part 2…