Just like a wife has rights over her husband in Islam, the husband has his rights too, which balance the love relationship. Those spouses’ rights are not meant to burden anyone of the two, but rather to boost their love and balance the relationship.
The first husband’s right in Islam is that of household head as Allah said “Men are in charge of women” (4:34), i.e. support and protection. However, when you come to think about this particular right outside the scope of spouses’ rivalry, you’d discover an amazing fact. Is being household head really a husband’s right in Islam, or rather a wife’s right?! Supporting and protecting her is her right not yours!
The husband’s right in being household head is restricted to “establish among them the law of Allah” as the prophet SAW explained. So obey him (your husband), as long as he obeys Allah, otherwise, he has no right to enforce anything on you and his household head status is void.
This takes us to the second husband’s right in Islam, that of being obeyed. In the same verse from Surah Al-Nisa’a, Allah SWT says “so virtuous women are the reverent ones, guarding behind their husbands the way Allah has decreed guarding” (4:34). Then the prophet SAW clarifies this obedience by “No obedience in what is sinful. Obedience is only in what is right” [Bukhari & Muslim].
Now let us assume a conflict arises between husband and wife regarding her parents, who should she obey? When asked who has the greatest right over a woman, the prophet SAW said “Her husband”, as for the man he SAW said “His mother” [Nasa’i]. Now does this mean that if a mother asks her son to divorce his wife he should obey her? Only if she’s an unchaste wife, otherwise, No! The sad truth here is that if both spouses know the real Islamic values and rights of parents in Islam, such conflicts would never arise.
The third husband’s right in Islam is that of intimate relation. The wife is obliged to respond whenever her husband calls her to bed. Don’t look for one excuse after the other whenever your husband calls you to bed, and then come complain that he’s interested in another woman!
The prophet SAW said “Whenever a man calls his wife for his desire, let her come to him even if she is occupied at the oven” [Tirmidhi]. Why else do you think the prophet SAW said that “the angels curse her until morning” [Bukhari] if she disobeys?! It ruins houses people! And please, whenever he calls you for his desire, ask for two minutes, and go take care of yourself and look sexy! He’s your husband!
To be resumed in shaa Allah in Part 2…